Step Parenting
With the divorce and remarriage rate so high these days, there is a good chance that you just might find yourself a step parent.
I’d like to offer some tips on being a step parent:
Always remember that the child already has both a mom and a dad. Depending on the age of the children when you enter their lives, there is a good chance rules and guidelines are already established. It will help both you and the child if you support the current rules versus trying to create new rules.
Encourage the child(ren) to call you by your first name. Unless the circumstances are such that you’ll be adopting the child at a very young age and the other parent is not involved, don’t confuse and hurt the child by expecting to be called mom or dad. Should the child choose to call you mom or dad, that’s great, but until that time encourage them to call you by your first name.
Speak with the child about how they would like to be introduced. I have one friend with a step son and I did not know he was a “step” until very recently. She never distinguished him from her other children. She referred to all of the kids as “her kids” and introduced them all as “my kids”. I’ve seen other parents say “this is my daughter Amy and this is my step daughter Cindy”. Why make the distinction, unless the child has specifically asked you to?
Read the rest of this entry »
Step parenting brings its own special problems as the new step parent is often caught in the middle between the biological parent and the children. Just how much of a problem you will encounter depends upon a whole variety of factors, not the least of which will be the degree of co-operation you receive from the biological parent and the ages of the children involved.
The secret to successful step parenting lies first in clearly establishing your role with the biological parent because you will certainly have an uphill struggle if the two of you are not fully in agreement from the outset. As with any changes in a relationship though you must also realize that adjustments will take time and you need to adopt a ‘step by step’ approach. Any attempt to rush things, or to force the situation, will undoubtedly lead to frustration, if not confrontation. The biological parent may well feel threatened, if only sub-consciously, by the need to share parenting and will need time to adjust and to develop confidence and trust in you as a parent to his or her children.
Next, you will clearly need to establish your role with the children who, unless they are very young, will often resent being guided by an ‘outsider’. You will need to take things slowly and accept that the children will need time to adjust to the situation before they will accept you in the role of a parent. Once again, you will need the help of the biological parent in cementing your relationship with the children.
Any successful transition into step parenting must start with a clear and frank discussion with the biological parent, during which each party must communicated freely and honestly about how they see their role, and that of the other party, and you must both reach a clear agreement on just how you should share the responsibilities of parenting. This discussion should also set clear boundaries but should be flexible enough to allow for adjustment, especially in the critical first few weeks and months following the establishment of this new relationship.
Read the rest of this entry »
We families now a days are nuclear(I guess because a divorce is like the atomic bomb to children), on top of dealing with those problems there may be another child or sometime two or three all in one home(like a Brady Bunch type deal).
Unlike Brady Bunch there could be serious problems if step-parents don’t step up to the plate and give it 150%. Don’t for get parents and step-parents YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for their emotional and physical well being not them.
You need and must put all of your thoughts and feelings out there for the child(ren) to here and see. Once you have done so next step is to established a line of communication. You must nurture all aspects of this extra lives you are in charge of.
Keep an eye open for signs (very important) that any problems that arises. Step-children are people too. We are the adults, put your self in there shoes.
A parent has married another person, there are new people around to take that needed attention away, the pain of the divorce, the missing of the other parent, the feelings of neglect. All those things can go through a child(ren)’s mind. Be aware of those things and imagine how you would feel.
Read the rest of this entry »
This is always difficult, but it’s no different to being an ordinary parent; there are just a few more people involved, so it’s a little more complex in some ways, but complicated situations can ALWAYS be simplified. Who pays for what is the usual problem, but there are plenty of others.
There are several techniques for keeping your own mind reasonably straight, all of which I’ve used. The woman I was involved with had a 5-year-old daughter, and a violent ex-boyfriend. One of the first things I encountered was “Are you my new daddy?” Wow! Tough question. My answer was: “No, I’m not, but you can think of me as another dad, so you’ve got two dads.” This answer was acceptable, and sometimes I imagined schoolyard arguments; “I’ve got TWO dads! So There!” (I take my amusement where I can find it.)
Moving from ‘single’ to instant parent required some serious cogitation, and kept me constantly re-evaluating my position. Was I her dad? What was my role? How do I deal with her biological father? I initially resolved it by placing my first priority on my new partner. Ok, some radical changes in my lifestyle were required, like changing to kid-friendly restaurants.
As much as possible, I simply did not get involved in any conflict between my girlfriend and her ex; that was something they had to resolve between themselves. I did suggest to both of them that they resolve their issues via a third party, but neither was prepared to do that, so sometimes I did get caught in the middle. The worst was that both of them sometimes used to use the child against each other. This gives real meaning to the phrase: ‘When elephants fight, the grass gets trampled!’
Read the rest of this entry »
Before you start served by the procedures, it is important that you discuss it with your partner, your own stepchild or even stepchildren and their natural parent. You can then file for the adoption only after all of them possess decided to it, particularly the children. They should be prepared to be adopted through only you must know that despite the ownership they may share a more powerful relationship using their biological mother or father than with a person. Consider all the pros and cons of implementing your own stepchildren, raising stepchildren and getting parent responsibility associated with the stepchildren before you decide to finally decide to proceed along with the methods. Find out more on adoptions.
Stepchild Adoption Process: Exactly how to Follow a Stepchild
By implementing a stepchild you’re saying yes to end up being entirely accountable for your partner’s child. The legal procedures of implementing stepchildren is governed as the State law and the laws for every state can vary somewhat, which means you will require to do some research on the laws for stepchild ownership of your state. Here’s a step-by-step guide on the stepchild adoption process.
Step #1
Research your State Laws: Begin with the stepchild process of adoption through studying about just about all the laws associated to stepchild ownership in your state. You can also talk to an ownership lawyer regarding the exact same and obtain all of your uncertainties clarified.